and you agree that my point is valid.....what exactly is your damage?
Personal responsibility, and making the best of your life.
By the way - you are interpreting it differently to what I am saying – that your point is valid in certain circumstances, not in others...but that you speak like it is valid in all circumstances.
If you actually work with people from an abuse background then you know damn well that there are a lot of people like me, those who are the opposite of the victims, those who tell anyone they find in a difficult situation "what ever you do dont be a victim, know who you are and what you want and then do it, but dont whine, and dont blame other people for what you do"
No Hawkeye – what you said is a very unusual thing to say for anyone in an ongoing domestically violent situation (And are you in a domestically violent relationship?).
The concept of personal responsibility is lost on most people in perpetual conflict (not enitrely certain you are saying that - it seems more like 'don't whine when you contribute').
Most men in ongoing domestic violence situations say ‘she made me do it’. Many women in truly violent situations walk very quietly for fear of violence, and then have outbursts before getting beaten. Many women are as bad as the men (both in 'justification' and in verbal behaviour), goading them verbally until the situation becomes violent. Some women are violent towards the men. Some women are attracted to abusers, going from one violent relationship to the next. Some women find themselves in violent relationships without ever understanding how they got there.