This is the only post that is it even reasonable regarding the truth of why women stay. In reading it- I can tell you that either the author or someone the author is close to is an ACTUAL victim of domestic violence. I know this because I am one, too. There are many reasons why we stay - I stayed 7 years. I have been out of it with my young children for 3 weeks now. I am a stay at home mom. I am educated and currently working on my masters degree. In part, I stayed because I didn't have the financial means to leave, and was 100% financially dependent on my husband. He took my credit cards and limited my access to our bank accounts. I had to skim cash here and there and saved it in envelope in a safety deposit box. I also had to find the courage to TELL SOMEONE. It doesn't come up in normal conversation. I stayed home when my eyes were blackened or my lip was split open, I maintained a very happy appearance, I tried to be affectionate with my husband when people were around, and ... to top it all off --my husband is a well-known and successful doctor in our town. Telling someone was the single, most difficult thing that I have ever had to do. Telling someone requires trusting someone. Telling someone is humiliating. Telling someone is admitting how little I think of myself. Telling someone means I am not "normal," I am victim or a battered woman. Telling someone is a reminder that, although I protected my children from him, they saw him beat me until I was bloody and couldn't pick myself up off of the floor. Violence begets violence. And finally, telling someone can escalate the violence, and it is already horrible enough. I hid it from my children the best I could - they are ages 3 and 4. Like I said, I had many reasons to stay, but two important people to leave for ( and stay alive for). My husband beat me horribly in front of them 3 weeks ago. He went to jail that night for the first time. The chapter with my husband has ended but it took 7 years for it to occur. I am attending a victim of domestic violence education class and found a psychologist for therapy. Domestic violence is a cycle and a trap. If I go back- there is no doubt in my mind that my husband will kill me and then himself.
To a few of the people who posted here... Some of your opinions are ridiculous, midguided, dangerous, and condescending. If your opinion is just an opinion- on a topic this serious- keep it to yourself. By minimizing our situation, your 'little' opinion, when read by someone who is DESPERATE to find some post, article, story, blog, anything to give them tiny jolt of confidence, is incredibly painful and defeating.... to say the least. We turn the computer off, resume what we were doing before, and the 'fog' and depression returns. And then we erase the internet history, temporary Internet files, and cache because the fear of being caught is back, too.
In closing, if you don't have a personal experience in the topic or are unable to contribute something positive, helpful, insightful, or encouraging.... think before you hit the reply button.