Yes, he knew it. When we went to the office, he told my daughter that if she didn't want me there, I could wait in the waiting room - she told him she wanted me in the room with her.
When he asked her questions about her history - she deferred to me - and I'm not imagining it...she looked over at me and said, 'Mom - can you tell him?'
She's a very bright and beautiful girl, who has moderate to severe hearing loss in both ears and is supposed to wear hearing aids - she won't right now- and she realizes she doesn't hear everything she needs to be able to hear.
I treat her like the adult she is...that's why she went on her own to get her birth control pills. I asked her, 'Do you want me to go with you?' She said, 'No, I can do it.' So I didn't go with her and she did it.
Believe me - I am not a hoverer. I let her make her own decisions - about her birth control about not wearing her hearing aids...I don't like to be controlled and I don't like to control people.
That's certainly not one of my issues - I'm laughing because if anything - anyone who knows me would be like...you - controlling....one of my students said that it's a good thing I don't smoke weed, because if I did - being so relaxed to begin with - I'd probably become SO relaxed I'd fall out of the chair.
Anyway - she's had the check-up and all is well.
And it's not a question of morality for the NHS. It's a question of economics.
As her father said, for girls my daughter's age, the incidence of pathology of any sort is so low that there's not enough of a medical necessity or pay-off for them to advocate or allocate the funds for doing regular pelvic exams at this age.
I said, 'So what would have happened to me then? I would have just died - or lost my first pregnancy to miscarriage over here (it effected my cervix and I had to have a cerclage and bed rest to maintain my son's pregnancy to term).
He said, 'They'd look at you as an outlier...if you'd had that issue over here - they WOULDN'T have caught it and you WOULD have lost your first pregnancy - and maybe your fertility and reproductive ability...(the gp agreed with him when I pressed him later on the phone about it - he said they probably would have found the problem when I had a miscarriage and not before-but that wouldn't have happened to the majority of girls and that's what they look at when they set policy and allocate funds.'
And to be fair - I understand that. I don't know how this government takes care of as many people as it does as well as it does - I understand there have to be things like 20% VAT taxes, and that there's a trade-off so all people get adequate services as opposed to some people get the best money can buy while others get nothing.
But for me - it's a good thing I grew up in the US and my mother instilled the value of check-ups in me. I made the appointment on my own and had taken myself to that check-up (where they found the problem) when I was in college. My mother was 500 miles away in New Jersey- she had nothing to do with it, except that she taught me that's what I should do.
And it IS sort of ridiculous saying to someone, 'I know you don't think it's important, but I do, so I would like to pay for it,' and having someone say, 'No - I will tell you what's important-what you can spend your money on and what you can't.'
A pelvic exam is not torture. It takes two minutes and is only mildly uncomfortable (unless you're an outlier)
I think that's the new trendy medical term at the moment.