Yes, Fansy, the entire piece is grammatical. Is there something in particular that seems "strange" to you?
I'd like to know if grammar at the above two places correct?
I'd like to know if the
grammar at the above two places is
That's not what Fansy asked you, Setanta. I know that you don't feel competent to do grammar, but Fansy want to know about this example.
By your own admission, you are not privy to what was in the writer's mind so for you to suggest changes is pretty dumb. And you even know it for you made only one lousy attempt. That relationship could easily be described as 'intense'.