That writer really stinks!

Forums: Authors, Books, Reading, Candles, Smell
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I was reading an essay in my newpaper today that discussed "author scented candles" that one could use to enhance their reading experience. I googled it to see what was up.

Here are some of the candles:

Edgar Allan Poe (a mix of patchouli, absinthe and sandalwood),
Jane Austen (gardenia, tuberose and jasmine)
Henry Thoreau (a blend of cedar, moss and juniper)
Walt Whitman (grass, thyme and clover),
Charles Dickens (tangerine,juniper and clove).

The author of the essay went on to suggest a few scents:

Dr. Suess (eggs (green), ham (ditto), fish (multicolored))
John Steinbeck (grapes (wrathful), sardines (canned), tortillias (flat))
P.G. Wodehouse (a wry odor called "Jeeves" that follows you around the room)
Herman Melville (brine, blubber, odour de scrivner)

I started wondering what I would smell like if I were a candle.
Cut grass and wet dog? Cake (baking) and coffee? All of them mixed together? Hmmmmm.......

And I started wondering what the book I'm reading (The Lonely Polygamist") might smell like..... An old couch, messy children and califlower casserole?

And what might some of my favorite books smell like? Or some of my favorite authors?

Or what you might smell like if you were a candle?
Or what the book you're reading might smell like?
Or what your favorite author might smell like?
Or.... anything reading related that you think smells.

C'mon, play along!

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Type: Question • Score: 9 • Views: 3,886 • Replies: 33

I have to think about this. It sounds like fun.

What would Margaret Atwood and David Lodge smell like?

I suspect Atwood would smell of a combination of Canadian forests; old fairy tale books printed on pulpy paper; raw silk and green salads.

David would smell of rain dampened tweeds; coffee (not tea) spiked with Scotch and English leather cologne.

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Richard Brautigan would smell like watermelon sugar and Gary Snyder's motorcycle.

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listening to a Miss Read book right now

Dora Jessie Saint MBE née Shafe (born 17 April 1913), best known by the pen name Miss Read, is an English novelist, by profession a schoolmistress.

Saint wrote a series of novels from 1955 to 1996. Her work centred on two fictional English villages, Fairacre and Thrush Green. The principal character in the Fairacre books, Miss Read, is an unmarried schoolteacher in a small village school, an acerbic and yet compassionate observer of village life. Saint's novels are wry regional social comedies, laced with gentle humour and subtle social commentary. She is also a keen observer of nature and the changing seasons.

i imagine they would smell of climbing roses, fresh cut hay and chalk dust

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@boomerang,

When I was studying, reading several centuries-old cases of litigation
for law school, I liked to have a personal link with ancient times.
Sometimes, I held an ancient coin in my hands from the Roman Republic.

I had another that was minted when Jesus was on Earth.

I also had a $10 gold piece from 1795, the earliest year of any gold from the USA,
in the largest denomination that was issued (until 1849).
George Washington signed a statute authorizing Alexander Hamilton to mint that coin.

I like nostalgia. I 'm an old reactionary.

David

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I picture Jim Crace like a breeze coming off the sea on a cool day.

Alice Munroe would smell like apple cider.

David Sedaris would be a combination of ciagarettes, Febreeze and lawn gnome.

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@boomerang,

My favorite authors?
Ray Bradbury: ozone, cinnamon, and a hint of burnt leaves.

First, I don't recommend the Chuck Palahniuk candle (patchouli, blood, men's sweat, and ... what does ennui or nihilism smell like?)

I have to think about what Joyce Carol Oates, Margaret Atwood, and James Morrow might smell like ... okay that's now what I meant... how their literary output might smell like...?

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@OmSigDAVID,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

When I was studying several centuries-old cases of litigation
for law school, I liked to have a personal link with ancient times.
Sometimes, I held an ancient coin in my hands from the Roman Republic. I had another that was minted when Jesus was on Earth.

David

So you would say that a candle for the authors of these legal documents would best fitted with a candle that has a tinny metallic tinge mixed with slowly decaying parchment, and a hint of a slightly stuffy no~public~allowed map room of a old-world university research library.

As an nonpracticing historian, I really would love to get this candle. My favorite part of my collegiate history research was walking around the university library stacks.

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@tsarstepan,

OmSigDAVID wrote:

When I was studying several centuries-old cases of litigation
for law school, I liked to have a personal link with ancient times.
Sometimes, I held an ancient coin in my hands from the Roman Republic.
I had another that was minted when Jesus was on Earth.

David

tsarstepan wrote:

So you would say that a candle for the authors of these legal documents would best fitted with a candle that has a tinny metallic tinge mixed with slowly decaying parchment, and a hint of a slightly stuffy no~public~allowed map room of a old-world university research library.

As an nonpracticing historian, I really would love to get this candle. My favorite part of my collegiate history research was walking around the university library stacks.

That 's plausible; I actually HAVE and had a scented candle that a friend gave me for Christmas.
I 've not made much use of the candle.

David

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@djjd62,

I've only heard the name Miss Read but had no idea who she was. You've made me want to pick up her books.

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@tsarstepan,

Quote:

what does ennui or nihilism smell like?

Iron, mothballs and a whiff of old farts.

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@dlowan,

I was thinking more on the lines of vanilla, caramel, and whiskey. Maybe the ennui you have in your refrigerator has spoiled?

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@boomerang,

boomerang wrote:

P.G. Wodehouse (a wry odor called "Jeeves" that follows you around the room)

i would have thought gin, leather and a slight tang of turkish cigarette if in the city, substitute tweed for leather if in the country

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@plainoldme,

i've read and or listened to almost all the Fairacre stories (the Thrush Green didn't do much for me), they're pleasant light reads

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@boomerang,

Philip Roth (Portnoy's Complaint, etc) would probably smell like chopped liver. Smile

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Portnoy%27s_Complaint

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@msolga,

I never read any Philip Roth but I bet his perfume might be a big seller in the indie-hipster ironic-vegetarian crowd.

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i'm glad boomer started this thread, i saw those candles a few weeks ago in canada's version of barnes and noble, chapters, and meant to bring them up but forgot

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@tsarstepan,

Liver (both chopped & raw) has a special significance in Portnoy's Complaint, tsar.
And I am far too modest & concerned about delicate sensibilities to discuss the details here.
You have to read it to know.

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@djjd62,

There are actual real candles?? Cool.... I thought this was only intellectual masturbation.

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@msolga,

I do believe Roth would smell of chopped liver and warmed orange juice ( a popular Florida cure for constipation).

1 Reply

That writer really stinks!

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