I'm expecting to get mostly "your shallow" type comments but am I? No one is attracted to a 500lb morbidly obese can't-leave-the-room individual, but where is the line that suddenly makes one shallow over body issues?
Actually, when I first read this last week or whenever it was first posted, I thought it was a very interesting question.
Where IS the line that makes one shallow over body issues? If it's okay for me to say I wouldn't go out with someone who is 100 pounds overweight, why is it not okay for someone to say they wouldn't go out with someone who's 10 pounds overweight?
I don't think the shallow part enters into it by degrees in terms of how MUCH extra weight they carry (or how much hair they have on their toes as opposed to none at all - that was funny Pemerson).
I think it enters the picture when 10 extra pounds can or does negate a wonderful sense of humour, or sparkling and kind personality, or intelligence or any other quality that one might have fallen in love with.
Because I had this conversation with my husband once and I asked, 'If I had been overweight - would you have asked me out?' He said, 'No - probably not.'
We were in a restaurant having this conversation and the waitress was a lovely young girl, but you could see her hair was visibly thinning and so I asked, 'If I had had that problem, was losing my hair at the age of twenty, would you have asked me out?'
And he said, 'No - probably not.'
At first, I was appalled and I thought he was being shallow and this surprised me, as I know he's not a shallow person. But then I thought about it and I realized that I was asking him these questions from the standpoint of him having known me and all the good things about me and thinking he would have negated all of that because of a weight issue and thinning hair.
But then I realized that's not what I was asking him - I was asking him if he'd have been interested in getting to know me further in a romantic way if I'd been physically different from what I was.
And it's totally legitimate for him to say he wouldn't.
And I do think it's good to ask yourself exactly how much physical appearance matters to you when considering a relationship with another person.
I was just reading somewhere that one of the main reasons men lose interest in women and sexual relations with them is loss of attraction toward them because of weight gain.
If you know that's an issue for you - point yourself in the direction of the more ectomorphic women from the start - that's what I'd advise.
You'll save yourself and the woman a whole lot of future frustration and pain.