Sun 15 Aug, 2010 10:46 pm
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 2.5 years now. I love him more than anything, and I know that I want a life with him. The thought of being without him is uncomprehensible.
However, my mum said something the other day when I told her that I loved him. She goes, "are you sure, or are you just trying to convince yourself?". I told her I was sure, but since then, I can't stop doubting my feelings for him! I can't stop thinking, "I love him, but i'm not in love with him" or "what if I don't love him?". Then I start thinking what it would be like without him, and as I said, I couldn't ever see that. It's really starting to affect me, emotionally and physically. Am I crazy? I know that I don't want to be without him. He makes me happy. But the last few days... I wake up feeling sick, I spend most of the day feeling awful. Even when i'm with him, it creeps up on me and i'm sad and doubtful. I just don't know what to do.
Everyone has doubts at some point in a relationship. Heck, if the relationship progresses to the point of marriage, you'll probably have nagging doubts on the day of the wedding. In the end, all you can do is trust your heart. Does he treat you well? Is he overly demanding of you? Do you feel safe when you are with him? Does he make you laugh? Does he lift you up? Or does he put you down?
I think you get what I'm getting at. Good luck to you.
i'd ask your mom why she said that, maybe you make comments that lead her to believe this, they might be trow away thin that don't worry you but worry her
or maybe she sees something in the relationship that you don't, or maybe she doesn't like him for some reason
you still have to make up your own mind about the relationship, but i'd ask her why she said what she said
Sounds like Mom struck a nerve. So ask yourself honestly and truthfully, are you IN LOVE with him? Seems to me, if you were really in love with him there would be no question, but since you're sick about it all, you obviously have doubts yourself. Perhaps your Mom picked up on this and she's trying to help spare you misery down the road.
Just because you can't imagine life without someone is no proof of love.
These deals are double-edge swords: Over think an emotional commitment and you can guarantee issues where there might have been none. Don't dwell on it enough and you'll miss important aspects that could also guarantee failure.
Issues of the heart shouldn't be reasoned-on too much, yet the practical commitments we make as a result should be seen for what they are: a risk that MUST be carefully considered.
Go with your gut, but don't do so too blindly. And I''d agree that mum's planted the seeds of doubt; this could happen to the most perfect and compatible relationship in the world. Whether or not you act ought to be a product of your own judgment.
Love is an emotion, so just enjoy it.
Don't let it overwhelm you or consume you, or you will lose yourself in all this.
Don't get lovesick.
Ask yourself: If I didn't have him in my life, what would I be doing (school, work, etc). Then go do that which will make you grow and become a woman.
Listen to your instincts.