Sat 6 Feb, 2010 07:53 pm
Ok, I've never done this before but I might as well...
I'm due in 2 weeks... roughly and my boyfriend, supposedly my fiance, goes out on a night we were expecting to get 2 ft of snow saying he'd be back in a couple of hours... but its been 24 hours and he still out hanging out with his friends. The thing is that they have this studio that is supposed to be for screenprinting and artists to use but lately they've been having djs and bands play and charging a cover/money for beer so they can pay their rent. He couldn't drive because my car (he doesn't have one) isn't 4wd so he walked to the thing. He said he'd be back by midnight at the latest... called at 1 am he couldn't leave b/c he said there wasn't anyone else there that could watch over the place so he had to stay later than expected... told him i understood but i needed him here with me... said he'd be home w/in an hour/hour and a half... argued about the fact that he should be here and that me and the baby should be more important... he hung up on me and turned off his cell 3 am... still not home.. called his friend who I thought he would be hanging out with.. he answers said he just made a pitstop there to warm up... i get upset and start crying... he eventually hangs up on me again and then turns off his friend's phone... dumb me walks to his friend's place I hang out for a little while and everyone goes to sleep including him on the couch and I can't get my big butt comfortable and I'm starving so I walk home to eat and sleep thinking he would come home when he woke up... called him around 3pm says he's getting some food at a store and that he'd be home soon. 5 pm i text him asking if he knew a time he'd be home.. texted back tuesday (its saturday) so i called him, he said he was joking and he was back at his friend's house and would be home later started talking and i started crying again because I just want him here with me so i'm not stuck here in the snow by myself but he said that there isn't anything so pressing and that what he is doing is important and he doesn't care what i want and that i'm crazy and that he will never change.
so that's really the back story... so what should I do? I bought a house in my name and I need him around to help pay for it (even though he's not making any money for the next couple of weeks). All this stress has caused me to have contractions which he doesn't believe. My sister had offered to come stay with me if he wasn't going to be here but he told me he would be here and now he's not... what's a pregnant girl to do?
call your sister, tell her to come on over, and bring some food. (ice cream?)
he's gonna do what he's gonna do.
you do what you need to to get ready for your baby.
Yep. Call you sister and tell her to come over.
Then call a lawyer and start arranging for child support.
Consider taking in a roomate to help pay the bills/mortgage. Another single mom and you should be able to trade childcare and make it okay.
I have been a witness to this story since I was a kid in the projects in L.A. and it will never go away. It is happening everywhere everyday, In fact it happened to me, I am that kid.
YOU GOT IMPREGNATED . You are responsible. Don't waste your energy on this piece of ****. Use all you energy for your health and the kid.
And get to know who is inseminating you next time. The world is overpopulated. Whos going to pay for that kid? Guess who.
I would like to have a kid..... BUT I CAN'T AFFORD IT!
I would like to have a kid..... BUT I CAN'T AFFORD IT!
I wanna have your baby amigo, please get rich soon.
booo hoooo! wahhhhh waaaaaaahhhhhh!
Will my puoch never be filled?
I'm sorry, I missread your post. I thought it said " I want to have a baby" not " I want to have your baby."
I meant theres no incentive to get rich.
I'm not comfortable that the original poster deserved your diatribe, Amigo -
but I'll stand up for your diatribe, or I think I will. More to discuss.
this guy sounds like he can not be more than 25.
If he is older than that, I would be surprised. I like to think when men start to grow up, they become less of the young bullheaded asshole .
And i agree, I would start working on child support payments. Not because you want to be rude to him, but because there will be times when you need that money and he may not be around to physically give it to you. Even by choice..
But i have to ask, is this the first time he has done this?
If my boyfriend or husband or what ever title he had who LIVED with me just disappeared for over 24 hours out of the blue once, there would be no pleading with him to come home if he responded to me like that. No sir. Im not saying that he COULDNT go out for long periods of time. I would encourage him to do just that ! But an entire day? With only easons of 'its more important' and ' im not going to change'..............?
That sounds to me like this is a reoccurring issue and that isnt ok.
So there are two possible outlines that could be happening.
Get honest with yourself.. are you the type of girl who , about an hour after he leaves you are calling him, every time , no matter what ? You expect him to call you while he is out.......always.... or expecting him to text you. Do you call to see what he is doing , checking up on him, maybe feeling jealous of whats going on?
That kind of behavior will drive any man nuts and is absolutely inappropriate. And if that is what is going on, you are where you are ( In the relationship) because you are feeding into immature ****, pushing buttons and creating this kind of crappy life. You just have to stop, maybe even let him go because of how he will respond to you. Thats not good for anyone.
The other thing that could be going on is that he is always out and just very inconsiderate. maybe he isnt taking this seriously or he really does not want to commit to YOU but does not how know to say it. He may be a bit controlling too. The " im not going to change" statement says this has been discussed before and sounds very much like a spoiled little baby crying because someone isnt going to do something he wants. It isnt about change guy, its about being considerate and at least informing you of what is going on ya know? And after he does that , if he really says Hey, Im going to be here for __blah blah__ hours doing __whatever__, then you need to be able to say ok, and not have to pester him about what is going on. Being late from things are ok so long as he is telling the truth about what he is doing and not being gone to be rude or ignore you.
One way or the other, his words were inappropriate. He should have explained the 24 hour absence if you requested that. And he should not have promised to be home when he couldnt.
Does he cheat?
This is a wakeup call for you!!
If you stay with him, get ready for future days with him pulling the same behavior . . .
Don't ever say you didn't have a warning.