Everytime I think I have gotten the hang of the parenting thing, something else comes up

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Your attitude isn't that uncommon. Sheesh, it took me until I was in my mid-30s to figure out how to be a parent on my own terms (i.e., not the way my parents did it), and I grew up in a very "regular" family.

Give yourself time. You're smart, you'll figure it out.

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@sozobe,

sozobe wrote:

It does indeed...

Quick Kay-sozlet update -- the whole playdate went well, they goofed around and laughed a lot and seem thoroughly back on an even keel. Kay was clearly a bit worried that I didn't like her anymore and was more focused on me than usual, and seemed very happy/ relieved when I praised her for some things she did, laughed at her jokes, etc.

Their ages ?

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@sozobe,

Cool!!!!

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@OmSigDAVID,

Eight. Nine soonish. (They were born a week apart, so almost exactly the same age.)

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Update #2:

Sozlet has a playdate today with another girl, neither Kay nor Esse. Sozlet, Esse and this girl were hanging out companionably enough after school while I was talking to someone else. Then I asked Esse how it went with her mom, and she gave a thumbs-up. She then said "I can't go to your house though..." Really? "...for three playdates." I wasn't sure what that meant... three weeks? Three months? (We don't have standing/scheduled playdates with her like we do with Kay.) Her answer was just three invitations -- she'd have to say no three times, then she could come over after that. I said "OK, you're invited over on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday... see ya next week." She smiled. (She knew I wasn't being literal.)

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@sozobe,

sozobe wrote:

Update #2:

Sozlet has a playdate today with another girl, neither Kay nor Esse. Sozlet, Esse and this girl were hanging out companionably enough after school while I was talking to someone else. Then I asked Esse how it went with her mom, and she gave a thumbs-up. She then said "I can't go to your house though..." Really? "...for three playdates." I wasn't sure what that meant... three weeks? Three months? (We don't have standing/scheduled playdates with her like we do with Kay.) Her answer was just three invitations -- she'd have to say no three times, then she could come over after that.

I said "OK, you're invited over on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday... see ya next week."
She smiled. (She knew I wasn't being literal.)

That 's clever.

I 'm glad that I was not a boy in these times.
We were 100% informal n spontaneous about hanging around together.

In these circumstances, I 'd have preferred to forget it and stay home.
It is being controlled to an embarassing degree. Being a kid does not mean that u don 't have dignity.

David

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@OmSigDAVID,

Well, they control almost all of it at this age -- they call each other and set stuff up. Moms have to approve, but it's usually kid-driven.

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@sozobe,

sozobe wrote:

Well, they control almost all of it at this age -- they call each other and set stuff up. Moms have to approve, but it's usually kid-driven.

It's different from when I was a kid, though, in that we basically ran out the door after breakfast and then came home whenever. Maybe we were a bit older though than your age group, now that I think about it.

Cycloptichorn

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@Cycloptichorn,

Cycloptichorn wrote:

sozobe wrote:

Well, they control almost all of it at this age -- they call each other and set stuff up.
Moms have to approve, but it's usually kid-driven.

It's different from when I was a kid, though, in that we basically ran out the door
after breakfast and then came home whenever. Maybe we were
a bit older though than your age group, now that I think about it.

Cycloptichorn

Yeah. As a practical matter,
we usually did not go far, unless we decided
to go see a movie or go to buy something.
Our friends were also our neighbors. It was just natural.

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@sozobe,

sozobe wrote:

Update #2:

Sozlet has a playdate today with another girl, neither Kay nor Esse. Sozlet, Esse and this girl were hanging out companionably enough after school while I was talking to someone else. Then I asked Esse how it went with her mom, and she gave a thumbs-up. She then said "I can't go to your house though..." Really? "...for three playdates." I wasn't sure what that meant... three weeks? Three months? (We don't have standing/scheduled playdates with her like we do with Kay.) Her answer was just three invitations -- she'd have to say no three times, then she could come over after that. I said "OK, you're invited over on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday... see ya next week." She smiled. (She knew I wasn't being literal.)
Sozlet's friends must think her mom is the coolest.

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Everytime I think I have gotten the hang of the parenting thing, something else comes up

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