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Thu 20 Aug, 2009 06:06 pm
My mum who has been receiving palliative/hospice for at least a month, today was diagnosed with colon cancer. the thing is I get no information from my father (for years) so I rely on friends who only have second-hand information and relay what I learn on to my brother who has zero access to pertinent information. My father has needs which mostly involve control that prohibit him from communicating with any family members.
dyslexia wrote:
My mum who has been receiving palliative/hospice for at least a month, today was diagnosed with colon cancer. the thing is I get no information from my father (for years) so I rely on friends who only have second-hand information and relay what I learn on to my brother who has zero access to pertinent information. My father has needs which mostly involve control that prohibit him from communicating with any family members.
Fuckin sucks man, sorry to hear that.
Cycloptichorn
Sorry to read of this bad news, dys. Doubly so due to the estrangements.
(((hug for dys)))
I cant imagine how that feels.
Im sorry to hear it.
Quote:if it ain't one thing it's another
You already said it. Ain't nothin left for me to say except sorry.
Sorry to hear this, dys. And not getting full and direct information just makes it harder.
Sighing for you.
I keep forgetting that many people older than me still have living parents. Mine have been gone for some time. I AM the "old folks" in my family.
I'm so sorry to hear this, Dys. Is there a way you could contact the hospice for information about your mother and bypass your father?
Nothing additional to add.
Just a hug in case it helps.
(((( dys ))))
Dys, can you visit your mother in the hospice? How far away is she?
Your father can't stop you from visiting, can he?
I do hope you'll get to see her in time....
according to my father re a note to a mutual friend this morning, my father has told the doc to not use the word" cancer" and instead tell my mom she has "malignant cells in the lining of the intestine." I guess it's important to him regarding the wordage rather than deal with the reality. To be honest, I, at this point am only concerned that my mom be allowed to die peacefully without pain and I don't give a shit how my father deals with it. they are both 88 yrs old.
i should add that both my parents are living in a medical facility with Docs and Nurses on staff.
dys, I am so sorry to hear about this. Hugs to you and to Lady D, too.
She deserves to go peacefully. I'm sorry, dys.
I'm sorry for the bad news, and sorry too for the way your dad is handling things.
I just lost someone close to me in a what I call, ICU death.
No one just allowing the person to go... invasive ways to keep them alive, always ending conversations with " we will beat this'
I agree with you 100%.
Die peacefully, no pain ( if that can be helped ) and no force. No lying, no invasion..
Death is not an infection you can cure.
Diane's brother died recently. How does she think you should handle your desire to be informed about your mother's illness? Can you arrange for phone conversations with her? Have you asked Butrflynet if she could drive you to Colorado?
BBB
I just checked my busy schedule and discovered I could, if she couldn't, if that's what's wanted, of course.
dyslexia wrote:
My mum who has been receiving palliative/hospice for at least a month, today was diagnosed with colon cancer. the thing is I get no information from my father (for years) so I rely on friends who only have second-hand information and relay what I learn on to my brother who has zero access to pertinent information. My father has needs which mostly involve control that prohibit him from communicating with any family members.
(((((Dys))))) Sorry to hear it my friend.
No suggestions either - but a hug from 'ere.
(((dys)))
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