A little late, but I'm agreeing with ehbeth, osso, et. al.
Sometimes, it's not "all about the children" but about the adults.
Contacting the bio mother at this time will do nothing but complicate things, stir the pot, cause confusion/hurt feelings.
I don't believe that just by saying "hey, no guilt here, I'm just asking" would make it all right. How could you NOT feel guilt after a call like that, if you said no? And if she says yes, but really don't want to see him at this time, now she has to deal with the anger.
bio mom knows where you both are, and that she's welcome at any time to contact you.
If mo's friends are asking him about adoption, and he doesn't have the answers, that's totally fine. He's not under obligation to explain this to them.
Agree that once mo is old enough to make his own decisions/contacts, he can decide what he wants.
Let the woman live her life without having this thrown at her.
