hey mate, I'm 8 months in front of where you are right now, I'm working for myself and having my two boys 9 and 7 mon-to fri makes for a hard week,then there mum picks them up and has them for fri sat night. Things get tough , kids are starting to be effected, wont leave my side around the house at night , feelings of abandonment and if my wife moves in with this chick (in a unit by her self right now) I've told her that theres no way the kids will be staying with her, she can see them as much as she wants just not with her as who knows what will be happening in another 6 - 12 months and in the mean time having my boys dragged through all this bs and effected for there teenage years, and they will be effected i dont care what anyone says I'm seeing it first hand!
I dont believe shes a lezzo its the emotional conection thats shes been craving and now meeting this lezzo and finding it with her who was in her own lezzo relationship of 9 years and has a little girl with her partner. So many things in common now there the only ones that understand, CRAZY ! And I know thats just a brand name(lezzo) but what Ive learned is that something has happened to these woman in the past where the loose trust in men and the have a loss of identity, not knowing who they are. They also may have an abandonment issue, I think with my wife some of its to do with her father dying and her mother leaving with another man a couple of years before her dad died and now not talking to her mother at all.
But something set my wife off, us not having the best 3 or so years of marrige out of our 15 years of being together and then her best friend leaving to live overseas , she had a melt down.
I can forgive her and have done consistantly but everytime she cheats on me it smashes your heart again , I've had enough now and i cant keep hanging on for her but its not just for me that I'm fighting this fight , its for what she is going to loose with the kids and also for what the kids are loosing with there mum. So there still is fight in me. I have just told her that if she cheats on me again I'm not going to go through it again and i will move on as much as i dont want to. I blamed myself for a while but being counciled help that, dont blame yourself but look at yourlife and see what changes you can make.
Mine is grog, flick it. and start to listen better try to understand how she feels more, easy to say especially when all she is interested in is feeding her flesh right now.
I've really dug into my faith in God and thats been the only thing that has helped me get this far with out hate in my heart for her and knowing that what ever happens I will be ok. I totally understand people with suicidal thoughts but thats not me , good luck mate get to church if your feeling really low and accept help from people that are willing you will find a councilor at a church they really help and dont cost you anything and if you dont want to talk about God with them Dont, but you need to talk to someone