Yeah Mac - thing is, when you have time to think it hits home harder and the emotions can sometimes spiral then - which is all part of the grieving process - but is so, so hard. It's finding a balance to occupy and busy yourself with what needs to be done and allowing yourself to the time to grieve in whatever way is the right way for you.
Thinking of you and just wishing you restful sleep and some peace. Take care hun. Hugs. x