tanguatlay wrote:
Our school of Buddhism believes the followers must think of other people, not only of ourselves. For example, when we pray, we pray for others and not only for our own benefit. We must help others. We must not only think of ourselves. When other fellow believers are in trouble, we should help them. In this way, we will attain happiness.
We usually say we practise for others besides ourselves.
Based on the above is the following sentence correct? If not, how should I reword it?
Our school of Buddhism practises for the sake of ourselves and others.
I like the inclusiveness that's coveyed by the pronouns "us" and "we". But when I read,
"Our school of Buddhism believes the followers..." it distracts immediately. Followers of the school?
It's my opinion the sentence is clearer and more inviting by keeping to the chosen pronouns.
"Our school of Buddhism believes that we must think of other people, not only of ourselves."
The fourth sentence is redundant.
"We must not only think of ourselves." The reader has already learned that. Is there something else you can add which will further increase our knowledge of your beliefs?
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