BREAKING NEWS ITEM - Chai2 cause of financial crisis

Whoa there, missy. We need to have a little talk here. You say Mr. Bernanke likes that top? Now, exactly how do you know this "Mr. Bernanke"? For that matter, who is this "Setanta" character? Just how long have you been talking to middle-aged men? And how do they know what that pink top looks like?

YOU'VE STILL GOT THAT WEBCAM HOOKED UP TO YOUR COMPUTER, DON'T YOU!!!

I thought we got rid of that thing weeks ago!

<starts to hyperventilate>

You're in BIG trouble now, missy!

this is either an "oh god, are you still talking" look, or an "i just drank a bottle of southern comfort" look

What?! The webcam is still hooked up?! And the MySpace account? You were supposed to delete that.

If you don't friend your father and me right now it won't just be TV that you're missing for a week, Missy.

I wasn't doing ANYTHING!

Why don't you believe me?! (hic)

The.....the webcam's just so I can talk to that girl....um....lourdes in brazil.

and so what sometimes I talk with mr. bernanke ok?

I don't even LIKE set, he's like so immature. all he wants to do is look down my pink top and it's like so gross.

and it's not like I'm the only one bringing down wall street. set is always bragging about how much he charges with some credit card numbers he found behind that mortgage place.

That does it. You come downstairs right NOW!!! You're grounded from the computer for the next MONTH!

Wait. I can't do that...we use it as an intercom.

I thought I told you to take off that top! Your dad's on his way home, and he'll have a fit! Now then, you can say goodbye to the webcam. It's history. And speaking of history, while I'm up there in your room, I think I'll check out where you've been on that computer. Remember, it's no allowance for a week for every site I find that you're not supposed to visit.

Damn blockers, they're supposed to stop this stuff.

bitch.


I am so moving out of here as soon as I'm 18.

What's this?! You've been texting with Wall Street magnates! Again?! Tell me, this part: by lo sl hi -- what does that teenspeak mean?

Never mind, I'll look it up. Just show me how to get to that there Google thing.

(sniff)

I....I don't know what it means, ok?

mr bernanke would just text me stuff i didn't understand, and I would just text back lol and he said he liked that.

i was tryig to text him all last nite and he would nvr text back.

sniff.

Aw, honey, it looks like Mr. Bernanke may have broken up with you but didn't know how to tell you. You don't need him. Is Mr. Madoff still texting you? We will, of course, have to put a stop to that but you should know that you are a valuable person and Mr. Bernanke, if he can't see that in you, aw, well, then he's not worth it.

This doesn't mean you're not grounded, of course.

Breaking News Item is it; as opposed to Breaking News Stories?

You have heard of Intellectual Property Rights maybe. Do you think your beauty, charm and wit will be enough to lure my reader to your thread already?

(giggle)

idk maybe.

I guess this means Chai2 & I can't open our financial advice company, The Green Tea & Sympathy Corp. I was hoping we could get some of that stimulus money to throw a party for our customers.

Dear Chai, please forgive my chutzpah; I can well understand your quest to be Chai #1, but do you think it is entirely appropriate to take the blame for the collapse of world monetary policy, and can it be excused by posting a sexy picture of some movie star?

Yours gratefully,

Anon