I know Rock hates it when I post my crybaby shit on his thread, so…
Well, I suppose I should explain that title. That’s the day the greatest love of my life chose to stick a knife in my heart. After a year of professing pure love, heart and soul, in some of the most wonderful ways imaginable; she tossed me aside like yesterday’s trash. I got an email goodbye, with a maybe someday… and nothing since. The problem is; she is absolutely wonderful, and now that I know she exists, there will never be another day that I don’t. Save the clichés for someone who doesn’t know them all. They don’t apply to me anyway. I am not wired like other people. I am neither mortally wounded, nor will I be getting over it anytime soon. I’m 40 years old and just lost the single greatest love of my life. In retrospect; I can’t know if it was really real… but it doesn’t matter anyway, because it is to me. I’ll be fine, of course, so no need for sympathy or worry… and I won’t be elaborating as grieving is a very personal thing for me. I just wanted a place to post some songs without bothering anyone.
I don't know why; but this one's been bouncing around in my head for days...
Thank you, Deb. I have more closure, yes. But it isn't better. Part of me is grateful to know that I have the capacity to fall in love so completely. I really didn't think I did. But it feels like an evil joke on me that it's all in vain. No worries. My core strength never leaves me, and I'll continue to function as if nothing is wrong... but this profound, enduring sadness is completely foreign to me and seemingly always just below the surface. There's only one cure, and I can't have it. Live and learn. Hope all is well with you.
I'm sorry I didn't see this sooner. What to say ... what to say? Not much more painful than a hurting heart. Makes it hard to find the right words. You soooo don't deserve it.
Stumble It!
Tweet This
Bookmark on Delicious
Share on Facebook
Share on MySpace
