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sixteen year old wants to choose where she lives

 
 
Reply Tue 2 Dec, 2008 04:51 pm
my 16 year old daughter wants to choose where she lives. She lived with me until 2 weeks ago. She then abruptly moved in with her father. I do not believe he can provide as decent a home as i can. She basically did not want to follow general rules of my home, curfew, homework,etc. So she left. I want her back. Can she choose? Can i fight this and win?
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Type: Question • Score: 9 • Views: 2,435 • Replies: 9
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Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Dec, 2008 04:56 pm
@candacecanfield,
Why would you want to fight this? If she doesn't want to follow the rules, why do you want her back?

You'll probably have a better relationship now that she's gone.

I say let her and her dad go through what the two of you went through and they'll both want her to come back to you before too much longer. Trust me.
NickFun
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Dec, 2008 05:47 pm
@Mame,
If I was 16 and had the choice of full freedom to do what I want or a life of curfews etc, I know what I'd want.
Mame
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Dec, 2008 06:21 pm
@NickFun,
You want her to come live with you?? snicker...
0 Replies
 
Debra Law
 
  1  
Reply Tue 2 Dec, 2008 06:28 pm
@candacecanfield,
candacecanfield wrote:

my 16 year old daughter wants to choose where she lives. She lived with me until 2 weeks ago. She then abruptly moved in with her father. I do not believe he can provide as decent a home as i can. She basically did not want to follow general rules of my home, curfew, homework,etc. So she left. I want her back. Can she choose? Can i fight this and win?


Is there currently a child custody and child support judgment in place? What state?
0 Replies
 
BillRM
 
  2  
Reply Tue 2 Dec, 2008 09:54 pm
@candacecanfield,
As a non-lawyer I would say that unless he is totally unfit a court would more then likely will in the end allow her to live with the parent of her choice.

Assuming you now had legal custody you can of course give him all kind of headaches and demand that the cops return her for the moment however she can always run away and that would be very bad indeed and in the end if he willing to take you to court and is not totally unfit he will win with her support.

Note once more I am not a lawyer I just play one on the net, however I would bet that a real lawyer will tell you the same thing.
0 Replies
 
update
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Dec, 2008 01:51 am
You should let her daughter to have her freedom right. At the age of 16 is enough for her to decide what to do or not. So, you should respect her decisions and always encourage her how to protect herself. It's a best way that creats the closet relationship between you and your daughter. I believe one day she will come back for your action. Trust me.
0 Replies
 
Phoenix32890
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Dec, 2008 09:04 am
My understanding is that by age 14, a minor is considered old enough to choose with which parent she wants to live. I would think that the only way that you could fight that is if you went to court and had her father declared an unfit parent. Would you really want to do that, and is he really unfit?
0 Replies
 
ebrown p
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Dec, 2008 09:29 am
This doesn't seem like a fight worth fighting, even if you can win.

Sixteen is pretty close to adulthood (at least legally). In less than 2 years the whole argument will be completely pointless.

I think I would just let it be.
mismi
 
  1  
Reply Wed 3 Dec, 2008 09:35 am
@ebrown p,
I think Mame has the right idea. I have a friend whose child chose to go live with her Mom because her Mom was busy and not able to keep her thumb on her like she needed to. She got there and after 3 months of having pretty much no rules, was miserable. She missed being cared for like she was at her Dad's and Stepmom's. So she is back with them. Sometimes we just have to step back and let our children make their own choices...no matter how hard it is.
0 Replies
 
 

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