Does Love Sometimes Hurt?

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I am in a new relationship and sometimes I find myself feeling like love is slowly killing me. Is it ok to love someone so much it hurts?

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Type: Discussion • Score: 2 • Views: 568 • Replies: 42

[+2] - jespah - 11/22/2008Oh fer cryin' out loud, this isn't about politics. Don't like the tags? Add your own, and get your friends to add tags. Less popular tags will be crowded out by more popular ones. This works on...
[+2] - Bi-Polar Bear - 11/22/2008I appreciate the staff... even though I'm an asshole. ((((((((((((((BEAR HUG FOR JESPAH ET AL)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
[+1] - farmerman - 11/21/2008Yeh but you can get a shot for that
[+1] - Izzie - 11/21/2008Does hurt... a lot. Is that OK? Shouldn't hurt like that, I don't think. Maybe.
[+1] - Phoenix32890 - 11/21/2008[color=#008000][b]What is about the relationship that hurts? You have made a general statement, so there is no way that I can determine what you are attempting to say.[/b][/color]
[+1] - RexRed - 11/21/2008[quote]What is about the relationship that hurts? You have made a general statement, so there is no way that I can determine what you are attempting to say. [/quote] When someone seems so...
[+1] - Phoenix32890 - 11/21/2008[color=#008000][b]Have you ever heard of the "halo effect"? Often when people see a trait that they like in another, they automatically ascribe other, related, positive traits to that...
[+1] - RexRed - 11/21/2008It is like maybe I made myself so different as a protective mechanism, because I didn't believe someone else could be as specialized or ever be able to relate.
[+1] - Phoenix32890 - 11/21/2008[color=#008000][b]Like my mom used to say, "Every pot has its cover". Seriously though, it sounds like you have built up a protective barrier so that you would not be subject to...
[+1] - RexRed - 11/21/2008That song is so beautiful, timelessly true and your words are thoughtful and wise. You seem to have played a chord that fits the melody so well. How can one not feel a profound love for someone...

Yeh but you can get a shot for that

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@RexRed,

Does hurt... a lot. Is that OK? Shouldn't hurt like that, I don't think. Maybe.

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@RexRed,

What is about the relationship that hurts? You have made a general statement, so there is no way that I can determine what you are attempting to say.

1 Reply

@Phoenix32890,

Quote:

What is about the relationship that hurts? You have made a general statement, so there is no way that I can determine what you are attempting to say.

When someone seems so perfect like a puzzle piece fits it seems almost unreal, unbelievable, inconceivable. Like trying to find a mate for a whale.

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@RexRed,

Have you ever heard of the "halo effect"? Often when people see a trait that they like in another, they automatically ascribe other, related, positive traits to that person.

In many cases, the evaluation is often unjustified. With relationships, the issue becomes so much more complicated. With hormones making a person a little bit "nuts", often the beloved is endowed by the lover with things that really do not exist, or do not exist at the level which is believed.

Look, this person may be the one for you, but if it is a new relationship, you don't know that yet. It may be difficult, but attempt to keep things in perspective. If the relationship is right, it has to grow past the phase of raging hormones.

Why does the relationship hurt? Are you afraid of losing this person? Attempt to think this all through, and you may get a better understanding of what is going on.

Good luck, and stay calm!

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It is like maybe I made myself so different as a protective mechanism, because I didn't believe someone else could be as specialized or ever be able to relate.

1 Reply

@RexRed,

Like my mom used to say, "Every pot has its cover".

Seriously though, it sounds like you have built up a protective barrier so that you would not be subject to hurtful relationships. It could have something to do if you were hurt badly in the past, and don't want to become vulnerable again.

Then this person comes along, and you are smitten. You have been so defended against this sort of thing, that it is falling on you like a ton of bricks. Go slowly, and allow yourself to feel secure in this relationship before you make any committments.

Do you remember this song by Simon and Garfunkel? Does it relate to you?

Quote:

A winters dayIn a deep and dark december;
I am alone,
Gazing from my window to the streets below
On a freshly fallen silent shroud of snow.
I am a rock,
I am an island.
Ive built walls,
A fortress deep and mighty,
That none may penetrate.
I have no need of friendship; friendship causes pain.
Its laughter and its loving I disdain.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

Dont talk of love,
But Ive heard the words before;
Its sleeping in my memory.
I wont disturb the slumber of feelings that have died.
If I never loved I never would have cried.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

I have my books
And my poetry to protect me;
I am shielded in my armor,
Hiding in my room, safe within my womb.
I touch no one and no one touches me.
I am a rock,
I am an island.

And a rock feels no pain;
And an island never cries.

1 Reply

@Phoenix32890,

That song is so beautiful, timelessly true and your words are thoughtful and wise. You seem to have played a chord that fits the melody so well.

How can one not feel a profound love for someone who would scale a tower wall built so high?

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The Castle of My Heart

My heart is an impenetrable fortress
Locked way high in the tower
The tokens of our love
Chastity and a vow to forever remain faithful
No matter who storms the gate
Be they friend or foe
I will not be moved
For I am a willing slave to your love
I have sworn allegiance to your crown
And I will live the rest of my days
Fulfilling this undying promise of my affection

RR

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(Love) "It's a serious condition, but it isn't fatal." (Line by Dora Dufrain said to Calamity Jane in " Buffalo Girls".)

A love that is overwhelming and dominates your entire being is pretty special, especially if it is one that was meant to be--you know, made for each other, and all that. If that is what you're dealing with, don't worry. In time the extreme emotion--that which you liken to pain--will subside leaving a steady, satisfying relationship with sufficient passion, trust, and mutual respect to see you through a lifetime of good, bad, ugly, and beautiful.

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Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CTzA-Rydr0E

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try more lube...

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@Bi-Polar Bear,

Quote:

try more lube...

fuck yourself.

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@RexRed,

tsk tsk Rex...WWJD? Emulate your savior and forgive me...turn the other cheek..(no pun intended)

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@Bi-Polar Bear,

Quote:

tsk tsk Rex...WWJD? Emulate your savior and forgive me...turn the other cheek..(no pun intended)

Jesus would say, “Your house will be built on a dung hill because that is what is usually spoken out of your mouth…”

Respect is earned not granted by forgiveness.

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Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WY_8woQ-HEA

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@Bi-Polar Bear,

Quote:

try more lube...

The problem I have with you BPB is that I disagree with your way of life.

To put it in one word "excess"...

You come off so low that you set the tone and I find myself trying hard not emulating your filthy manners.

But I am nothing like you...

I never gave into the pressure of SEX to go out and collect every disease under the sun. NO, I saved myself for LOVE and now that that love is coming ever so near to me you seem vindictive.

I stayed out of the bars and slummy hell holes and stayed home and worked on poetry, rhymes, book writing, songs and dreams that you seem to have no conception of.

All you know is dick... what jurisdiction do I have to forgive you for that?

Does Love Sometimes Hurt?

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