Letting go is not the same as acknowlegment, which is far easier to do. When one 'lets go', I'd hope that one 'lets go' of the "idea of that relationship", and that the "other" was the only one for you, waaaay past that "you are my everything' feeling". For women, I venture, moreso then men, it takes longer IMO since a woman so accomodates herself more usually to the man, rather than vice versa.
Now, I'd like to dabble a bit with being sought out, once again. I think I remember those days, lol! So, my choice to look around and be open to the possibilites, I would think that follows Rae's advice to be positive. Although being open, does not deny scars nor touching memories. Somehow, my new avatar suits me better at present. For, I am still 'standing' and the 'other' is to the side. That's my point, lol!
Hiya cobalt (good to see ya!) ~ of course, letting go should happen after the acknowledgement, but sometimes that doesn't happen and letting go is just the easier of the two options.
I liken it to 'giving up'. But giving up would be your own choice ~ leaving you in control, once again, of your own feelings.
Every one of us handles hurt differently. But we all have the choice to move on from it. (Sorry, again.....'choice' is a word I live with every second of my life.)
Methinks that a wound is only a wound.
Some of the wounds on the battlefield result
in the loss of limbs(I don't see how one makes
a "choice" about the loss of a leg) Also the loss
of many things dear to one's heart - YOUR
scars may show - or they may not. I have
not ever made a habit of discussing my
wounds, because I do not want to feed it
any energy in my life. At times we are
terrified AND hurt, this a tough issue
about TRUST, about the NATURE of
people who once "seemed" good to us.
Regardless - they DO heal, no matter
how long it takes, it's worth the wait.
Hi babs ~ you're quite right in your analogy, but the person who has lost their limbs does have a choice about their attitude.
I'll be quiet now. I promise.
It's been my experience that time heals all wounds. We would surely be in a fix when too many unhealed wounds take up all our thought time. With time, they are simply there no more even when we miss them. At that rate we'd have to look around and get ourselves wounded again!
Something I resent in people is when they carry all their wounds around, letting everybody know about them constantly. It is so nice to get out in the world, living in the moment and enjoying whatever is there. That is, not taking our troubles out on anyone else, who knows naught about us. I'm really amazed that I was hurt in a couple relationships that appear as very bad for me, now. Whatever did I see in them? Perhaps they happened to teach me something.
Hi Tex-Star ~ I would be of the tendancy to agree that time does heal all wounds.....but, not for everyone.
(Welcome to A2K, by the way!!)
Hi Rae, thanks for the welcome!
Yes, I know that some don't ever heal. But, what I'm saying is most people have distractions, or could be open to that. Perhaps our hearts could guide us there.
Rae, yes, I know that some aren't open to distraction. In my work I've found the study of Metaphysics is helpful, to understand how the human mind/brain works. We can train ourselves to "change" how we think.
So glad you 'said' that out loud.
I've been 'training' myself for the last four years to think, act and behave differently and it's working. But, I want it to work for me. That's most of the battle as far as I can see ~ wanting it.
I Just broke up
Well, i know the topic is getting over the relationship, but i don't know how you guys can get over it... I'm probably one of those people who never get over the break up and it sucks. I'm losing faith and i'm scared to get involved with anyone else. I Mean, it's like i love this person so much and i just wished we were together again... She wants to be my friend and i dont i think i'm ready to give that to her... Has she moved on? She says that she still loves me and that she's just not sure about us... What does that mean? I want to hate her, but i cant... I still love her... I wanna get over the relationship, but i'm having such a hard time...
Noddy still gives advice for today's problems in her old posts, doesn't she?