List below the most unusual country music lyrics

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I am not a country music fan, but my husband is. As a result I am frequently subjected to this stuff. I’ve learned to at least appreciate some of the more bizarre lyrics. Just this morning I heard a new one which prompted me to write this subject. Here are a couple of my favorites:

Tequila makes her clothes fall off
And my most recent favorite heard this morning…”id like to check you for ticks”

Can you beat that for poetic romantic words? Please feel free to add your own.

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Type: Discussion • Score: 10 • Views: 9,110 • Replies: 35

@Linkat,

This is an old one - "I wish I was a back-pocket money man, but all I got is nickels and dimes, an' that's front-pocket money!"

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@Linkat,

Papa loved Mama,
Mama loved men,
Mama's in the graveyard,
Papa's in the pen.

Garth Brooks 'Papa loved Mama'

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Drop-Kick Me, Jesus, Through the Goalposts of Life
by Paul Craft
Refrain:
Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life,
Right down the middle, neither left nor the right.
Straight through the heart of them righteous uprights
Drop-kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life.

Make me, Oh make me, Lord, more than I am
Make me a part of your master game plan
Free of the earthly tempestions below
I've got the will, Lord, if you've got the toe.

Bring on the brothers who've gone on before
Bring on the sisters who've knocked on your door.
Bring on those sainted relations of mine
And put them up front in the offensive line.

A lowly benchwarmer I'm contented to be
Until the time that you have need of me
Flash on the big scoreboard that shines up on high
The big Superbowl 'way up in the sky

(Disclaimer: Some believe the last verse is not Craft's
lyrics but was added by somebody else later.)

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And my personal favorite:
JESUS PUT A YODEL IN MY SOUL
Wanda Jackson

My life was empty, without a goal
Then I let Jesus into my soul
Now I'm so happy, never feel low
Jesus put a yodel in my soul

Jesus, Jesus, Jesus set me free
Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-ee
Yodel-ay-ee-dee
Jesus, Jesus, Jesus set me free
Yodel-ay-ee, yodel-ay-ee
Yodel-ay-ee-dee

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im keepin your poop in a jar till the day you come back, so don't I forget just what you are yeah im keepin your poop in a jar

i thought you took everything ,but you left somethin behind. i scooped it out, i bottled it up. and now its there to stand by the bed to remind me. the taste i could't forget, you're just a piece of POOP.

Im keeping your poop in a jar, till the day you come back so I dont forget just what you are, yeah im keepin your poop in a jar.

let me testify, i was feeling alittle down. so i opened the lid for a smell. Then it all came back to me baby, when the vapor was rubbed, i remembered you well.it all came back to me, it was just a piece of poop.

Im keepin your poop in a jar, until you come back so I dont forget just what you are, yeah im keepin your poop in a jar, heyaw everybody sing, im keepin your poop in a jar, till the day you come back so I dont forget just what you are yeah im keepin your poop in a jar, im keepin your a poop in a jar.

Hayseed Dixie

2 Replies

@Bi-Polar Bear,

Hey bear, if that's hayseed dixie it must be done to the tune of an AC/DC song, right? Which one?

1 Reply

@hingehead,

that's actually their one original....

1 Reply

@Bi-Polar Bear,

I wanna link...

1 Reply

@Rockhead,

you can go to their website and download audio samples...or here...

http://www.google.com/musica?aid=g65G2dSQCDL&sa=X&oi=music&ct=result

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@Bi-Polar Bear,

Thx, Bear.

I'll hit it tomorroh when I am on the man's MB...

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@Bi-Polar Bear,

If My Nose Were Full of Nickles (I'd Blow It All on You)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWQTRyJ7-2U

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@Bi-Polar Bear,

You wrote that - come on admit it!

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It's Hard to Kiss the Lips at Night (That chew My Ass Out All Day Long)

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State Fair Woman:

She’’s my state fair woman, she’’s my carny queen
She had one lazy eye, but most all of her teeth.
She’’s my state fair woman, she’’s my carny girl
She took me for a ride on that love Tilt a Whirl.

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"My Uncle Used to Love Me but She Died"
Roger Miller

CHORUS
My uncle used to love but she died
A chicken aint chicken til hes licken good and fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to love me but she died

Wholl bid me quarter, thirty cents for a ring of keys
Three sixty-five for a dollar bill of groceries
Ill have me a car of my own someday but til then I need a ride (thanks steve)
My uncle used to love me but she died

My uncle used to love but she died
A chicken aint chicken til hes licken good and fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to love me but she died

Hamburger cup of coffee lettuce and tomato
Two times a dime to see a man kiss the alligater
One more time around free on the ferris wheel ride
My uncle used to love me but she died

My uncle used to love but she died
A chicken aint chicken til hes licken good and fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to love me but she died

Apples are for eatin and snakes are for hissin
Ive heard about ahuggin and Ive heard about kissin
I read about it free in a fifty cent illustrated guide
My uncle used to love me but she died

My uncle used to love but she died
A chicken aint chicken til hes licken good and fried
Keep on the sunny side
My uncle used to love me but she died

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No-one can beat the efforts of Mojo Nixon and the Toadliquors:

ARE YOU DRINKING WITH ME JESUS?

Quote:

Should we take a cab home jesus
Man, we can hoof it from here
I know you can walk on the water
But can you walk on this much beer

1 Reply

@Mr Stillwater,

Oh Yeah Stilly?

Joe Nicholls

Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off

She said I’m going out with my girlfriends
Margaritas at the Holiday Inn
Lord have mercy, my only thought
Was Tequila makes her clothes fall off

I told her put an extra layer on
I know what happens when she drinks Patrone
Her closet’s missing half the things she’s bought
Ya Tequila makes her clothes fall off

(Chorus)
She’ll start with kickin’ out of her shoes
Loose an earring in her drink
Leave her jacket in the bathroom stall
Drop a contact down the sink

Them pantyhose aint gonna last too long
If the DJ puts Bon Jovi on
She might come home in a table cloth
Ya tequila makes her clothes fall off

Break

She can handle any champagne brunch
A bridal shower with Bacardi punch
Jello shooters full of Smirnoff
But Tequila makes her clothes fall off

Chorus

She don’t mean nothing - she’s just havin fun
Tomorrow she’ll say oh what have I done
Her friends will joke about the stuff she lost
ya tequila makes her clothes fall off

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A lyrics show-down? Bring in on fellah!

London Homesick Blues

Quote:

When you’re down on your luck and you ain’t got a buck
In London, you’re a goner.
Even London Bridge has fallen down
and moved to Arizona
Well I'll substantiate the rumor that the English sense of humor
is drier than the Texas sands.
Well you can put up your dukes or you can bet your boots,
But I’m be just as fast as I can.

Chorus:
I wanna go home with the Armadillos
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
The prettiest women and the friendliest people you’ve ever seen.

Well its cold over here and I swear
I wish they would turn the heat on
And where in the world is that English girl
I promised I would meet ‘em
And of the whole darn lot the only friend I’ve got
Is a smoke and a cheap guitar
Well my mind keeps longing and my heart keeps hoping
I’d be home in a Texas bar.

Chorus

Well, I decided that I’d take my cowboy hat
And go down to the Marble Arch Station
’Cause when a Texan fancies that he'll take his chances
Chances will be taken, and that’s for sure.
And all those Limey eyes they were eyeing these prizes
Some people call manly footwear
They said you're from down South and when you open your mouth
you always seem to put your foot there.

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Quote:

M is for the mud flaps you gave me for my pick-up truck
O is for the oil I put in my pick-up truck, drain it out, and put grease on my hair,
T is for Tolly Parton,
H is for Haggard
E is for El Paso and
R is for REDNECK!
And it’s up against the wall redneck mother

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List below the most unusual country music lyrics

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