Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 08:26 am
I am wrestling with myself over the bottle and binky issue. I am very pro Baby Self Weaning in that I think that the baby should decide when he or she is ready to be without the bottle or binky. And I am very pro Maternal Instinct in that I think mom's really do have an instinctual understanding of what her baby needs. However, there are a few things that I am questioning.

The little darling is still taking a bottle of warm milk about 4 times a day. She does eat solids for breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks but wants, or should I say needs, a bottle before naps and before bed time. Also, she wakes in the middle of the night and won't go back to bed without a bottle. She is only 13 months. I've tried to get her back to sleep without preparing a bottle of warm milk but she won't have it. The same with the binky. If she wakes up and can't find it, all hell breaks loose.

Am I allowing her to have the bottle and binky just because it's easy? Am I feeling these pressures and questioning myself because everyone around me tells me that they weaned at one year? Is it really necessary to make a one year old get rid of her security suckies?

I don't want to make it harder to get rid of these things later on and I fully intend to make sure she doesn't have the binky by the time she's 3 (dentist recommend babies not have the paci after that)

What do you experienced parents think? When did you wean your babies off the bottle and binky? And how?
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Type: Question • Score: 5 • Views: 1,725 • Replies: 12
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DrewDad
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 08:32 am
@Bella Dea,
IMO, do what works for you. Every child is different. You aren't a freak for giving her a bottle at 13 months.

We never bottle fed, so I don't have advice for how to wean off of a bottle, though.

Evolutionarily speaking, kids nursed LONG into toddlerhood.
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mismi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 09:47 am
@Bella Dea,
It's hard to do. I loved that binky so much. It did make my life easier. I nursed my boys (twins) until they were 14 months. Our routine was I woke them up, fed them, then played with them and put them down until they were around three months. After that when they woke up from naps I would feed them then play with them until the next nap time (not the entire time...they had their play time on their own once they got older). They never had to have a feeding before they went to sleep. But that was because I had two babies and it made my life easier. I agree that you have to do whatever it takes to make it easier for you.

The binky's - I did take them away at 18 mos. Mainly because I saw that they were becoming more of a habit and a crutch. I was assured by my pediatrician that they were finished with their need to "suck" and so I put them away. Nap times and bed times were hard for about 3 days. I did a lot of rubbing little backs and singing. Then it was easy. They were fine. I took them away before it got to the point where it was an all out fight. I will say their personalities were much different though. They were very easy going babies (blessing).

My third child it was all a new ball game. He was not laid back. He weaned himself off the breast at 9 mos. Was throwing his bottle pointing to a sippy cup at 11 mos. and done with binky by 12 mos. He potty trained himself before he was two and though I didn't struggle with the issues that I did with the twins...he wasn't my baby as long. He wanted to be like his brothers. It made me sad in some ways.

You just have to do what you have to to make it through. It turned out well for us. They have never had sleep issues. I do not think that has as much to do with what I did as much as how they are - we all need our sleep. So we all sleep pretty good. It's genetic I think. But I did put good habits into place - we had routines that gave them silent cues when it was bedtime...bath, teethbrusing, reading...getting in the bed and prayers when the lights were out...it was just routine and they fell right into it easily. Bedtime is actually fun for us. They seem to enjoy all the sameness about it.

Oh I miss my babies Bella Dea...I loved that time in our lives.
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Bella Dea
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 10:35 am
@Bella Dea,
I don't want to rush her out of being a baby either, which is why I am so hesitant to make her grow up and outgrow the binky and bottle.

I do take the binky away a lot during the day because she's trying to talk and doesn't need it. It doesn't seem to bother her 95% of the time. It's at night and when she's upset that she has to have it.
mismi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 10:40 am
@Bella Dea,
Enjoy it. It goes by WAY too fast.
mismi
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 10:44 am
@mismi,
Oh and I do believe I liked their baby time because I am a control freak and could keep things in order so much easier....I am having a hell of a time right now! Wink
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Linkat
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 10:45 am
I never had the bottle problem, but I did have the pacifier issue with my older girl. What we did is slowly wean her. The pacifier was for in the car and at night time. For whatever reason we didn’t have difficulty with her waking and wanting the pacifier " she must have been able to find it herself. Then after a bit with that, we decided no more buying pacifiers. When we got to the last one, we told her this is it. Once this is lost, then no more. And it worked, I think because we talked to her about it first.

A couple of other things " if your child isn’t ready, it is possible he will start to suck his thumb instead " this happened to my friend. And believe me, having a thumb sucking child; it is much more difficult to break that habit. One other thing " I have heard some people having success by cutting a bit off the end of the pacifier…the child doesn’t get that same sucking sensation so it can help brake that habit.
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Foxfyre
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 10:45 am
Related to this issue, a very wise person told me re my own two kids that babies need to suck as much as they need to breathe--it is soothing and reassuring and calming and necessary for them. Toward that end she advised that the baby have access to bottle and binky as much as s/he wanted. The bottle of course can sometimes have water in it. The principle is more - a lot - rather than any rationing of any kind.

Sometime after midterm in the first year also start offering the cup in addition to bottle and binky, and if there is no big deal made about this, it becomes familiar to the child too. Once the child is comfortable with the cup and will take it himself/herself, the bottle can begin to be withheld - once a day - then twice a day until they are only to go to bed with at night. And one night omit it. And then the binky.

If the baby has had all the bottle/binky/nursing s/he wants in the early months, the psychological need will have been satisfied, and this will not be traumatic for him/her and there will be minimal fussing and fretting.

I tried her system and it did work with both my kids both of whom were weaned off both the bottle and binky between 12 and 18 months. That was a long time ago though.

I don't know what modern experts would advise today or whether the system I used would work well with other children, so this should not be accepted as any sort of gospel or tried and true system.
0 Replies
 
shewolfnm
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 11:24 am
babies are sucklings.
13 months is not an age to be worried about 'giving too many bottles' too.
In fact, I would think , as Jillian did, the bottle to almost age 3 is .. well.. expected.

Screw those over achieving parents who tout about having a perfectly weaned child by 6 months, potty trained by 15 months and reading Shakespeare by 6

they suck
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Eva
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 11:56 am
Don't they!

She's eating solids four times a day PLUS four bottles of milk per day? Wow! That's a lot of food! SonofEva didn't eat nearly that much at 13 mo., and he weighed 30 lbs.! Is she eating solids well? If not, she's probably full from all the milk. You might try giving her bottles of warm water during the day instead of milk. (Add a little bit of milk to the water for flavor at first, then taper off.) It'll still satisfy her urge to suck, but she'll be hungrier at meal times.
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squinney
 
  2  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 12:11 pm
I have the answer you seek, but will not provide until I get pictures. Smile

Bear tried to "wean" Ky from her bottle, binky and blankie all at once when I had Seth. She was 22 months at that time. She eventually "lost" all her binkies and took to her thumb until second grade. She still sleeps with blankie at 19. But, keep in mind that "Brave Little Toaster" convinced her that blankie had feelings.
sozobe
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 12:14 pm
@squinney,
Awww.

(Yes, pictures!)

I don't really have any useful advice here but will say that a switch to water might be an especially good idea for the night-time feedings. Unless you're brushing her teeth afterwards (and if you are, disregard this), that can contribute to cavities. (Sozlet had 7 cavities at 18 months, ack.)
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Bella Dea
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Sep, 2008 12:20 pm
No, not brushing after night time bottle. It puts her right to sleep. And she has 10 teeth already, coming in at 12 shortly.
She eats her solids ok. And usually only has 4-6 oz of milk at a time but she's always been a hearty eater.
0 Replies
 
 

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