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Looking for the author to this poem!!!

 
 
Reply Wed 23 Jul, 2008 11:49 am
Help!!! I am looking for the author to this poem!!!
"Ladies and jellybeans, hoboes and tramps,
Cockeyed mosquitos and bowlegged ants
Admission is free so pay at the door
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor
I am about to tell you a story I know nothing about
Early one morning and late one night
2 dead boys got up to fight
back to back they faced each other
drew their swords and shot each other
A deaf policeman heard this noise
he came and shot those two dead boys
If you do not believe my lie is true....
Ask the blind man, he saw it too!!!"
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Type: Discussion • Score: 7 • Views: 29,552 • Replies: 11
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contrex
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Jul, 2008 12:16 pm
I don't think anyone knows. See this page

http://www.folklore.bc.ca/Onefineday.htm#Ladiesand
0 Replies
 
BumbleBeeBoogie
 
  2  
Reply Wed 23 Jul, 2008 12:19 pm
Snoopy dog
It is a old traditional playground chant for rope-skipping, hand clapping, ball bouncing, etc.

Ladies and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps,
cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,
I stand before you to sit behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
there's a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;
wear your best clothes if you haven't any.
Please come if you can't; if you can, stay at home.
Admission is free, pay at the door;
pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference where you sit,
the man in the gallery's sure to spit.
The show is over, but before you go,
let me tell you a story I don't really know.
One bright day in the middle of the night,
two dead boys got up to fight.
(The blind man went to see fair play;
the mute man went to shout "hooray!")
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and killed the two dead boys.
A paralysed donkey passing by
kicked the blind man in the eye;
knocked him through a nine-inch wall,
into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man; he saw it too,
through a knothole in a wooden brick wall.
And the man with no legs walked away.

Here's another one:

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

One was blind and the other couldn't, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,

A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story's true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!

BBB
0 Replies
 
Rhythmatic1
 
  1  
Reply Mon 8 Jun, 2009 01:44 pm
@snoopy dog,
There is no known author for this poem, and i doubt that anyone will ever figure out it's origins. Someone has CLAIMED that they had invented this rhyme, but i doubt it is true. Here is the version i commonly hear:

Ladies and gentlemen, short and stout,
I will tell you a story i know nothing about,
The admission is free so pay at the door,
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Hurray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
And kicked the lawman in his theigh.

He crashed through a wall without a sound,
Into a dry river bed and suddenly drowned;
A long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of a big round table,
I the only eyewitness to the facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, for he saw it too.
drinkbox
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Apr, 2011 07:57 pm
@snoopy dog,
I heard it before. I am also trying to figure it out for years.

Ladies and jumping beans I come before you to stand behind you to tell you something I know nothing about.... I remember only parts from my childhood. I read it in a text book once. Good luck
0 Replies
 
dadpad
 
  1  
Reply Fri 15 Apr, 2011 08:05 pm
In Iona Opie's "Language and Lore of School Children" (1959), she lists the following variation:

snip.......

Opie noted that this had been collected in 12 different schools around the UK, but that it had also been collected, with almost no variation, fifty years before. It was probably older than that, too. There was nursery rhyme about two dead horses running a race (with the blind spectators looking on) in 1830, and something similar was noted in the pocket book of a minstrel in 1480
http://www.playgroundjungle.com/2009/12/ladies-and-gentlemen-hobos-and-tramps.html
0 Replies
 
onepost11
 
  1  
Reply Thu 11 Aug, 2011 12:05 pm
@Rhythmatic1,
This is the one we say now.

Ladies and Jellybeans
hobos and tramps
crosseyed beatles and bolegged ants
on this thursday
a week from last friday
there will be a ladies meeting
for men only
admission is free
pay at the door
pull up a seat
and sit on the floor
i come before you
to stand behind you
to address you
not undress you
and tell you something
i know nothing about
Christopher Cucumber sailed the Miss Sloppy River
in his right hand he held the declaration of indigestion
in his left, the starred spangled banana
NOW, for the news
One fine day in the middle of the night
two dead boys got up to fight
back to back they faced each other
pulled their swords and shot each other
a deaf police man heard the noise
pulled his pistol and stabbed the boys
now they live in the middle of the block
in an upstairs downstairs vacant lot
if you don't believe
this lie is true
ask the blind man
he saw it too.
0 Replies
 
pdk754
 
  0  
Reply Sat 3 Sep, 2011 02:48 pm
I believe the last name of the author was Kisandi. I went to school with his daughter.
0 Replies
 
TriciaWilson83
 
  0  
Reply Fri 20 Jun, 2014 11:58 am
The original is from my grandfather Billy D. Wilson.. In his eary years he sent it in to be published in a poetry book. People have changed it through the years adding the silly beginning with the hobos and such. Yes, he is very much alive.
0 Replies
 
susanne333
 
  0  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2014 12:17 am
I'm sorry to tell you but you will never find the author to this poem because the author remained anonymous. I have never posted a single thing in my life. However you guys are killing me because I have not seen A single person on this site with the correct wording of this poem. I do know the correct version and not one person on this site got it right.
roger
 
  1  
Reply Sun 21 Sep, 2014 12:20 am
How did you happen to find us here?
0 Replies
 
haitipi
 
  1  
Reply Fri 31 Oct, 2014 03:55 am
@susanne333,
I first saw the "one Bright day in the Middle of the Night" poem in the 1960s. It was in a 1920s school book and had a few variations.
0 Replies
 
 

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