Looking for the author to this poem!!!

I don't think anyone knows. See this page

http://www.folklore.bc.ca/Onefineday.htm#Ladiesand

Snoopy dog
It is a old traditional playground chant for rope-skipping, hand clapping, ball bouncing, etc.

Ladies and jellyspoons, hobos and tramps,
cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,
I stand before you to sit behind you
to tell you something I know nothing about.
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
there's a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;
wear your best clothes if you haven't any.
Please come if you can't; if you can, stay at home.
Admission is free, pay at the door;
pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference where you sit,
the man in the gallery's sure to spit.
The show is over, but before you go,
let me tell you a story I don't really know.
One bright day in the middle of the night,
two dead boys got up to fight.
(The blind man went to see fair play;
the mute man went to shout "hooray!")
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and killed the two dead boys.
A paralysed donkey passing by
kicked the blind man in the eye;
knocked him through a nine-inch wall,
into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man; he saw it too,
through a knothole in a wooden brick wall.
And the man with no legs walked away.

Here's another one:

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead men got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other,

One was blind and the other couldn't, see
So they chose a dummy for a referee.
A blind man went to see fair play,
A dumb man went to shout "hooray!"

A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye,
Knocked him through a nine inch wall,
Into a dry ditch and drowned them all,

A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to arrest the two dead boys,
If you don't believe this story’s true,
Ask the blind man he saw it too!

BBB

There is no known author for this poem, and i doubt that anyone will ever figure out it's origins. Someone has CLAIMED that they had invented this rhyme, but i doubt it is true. Here is the version i commonly hear:

Ladies and gentlemen, short and stout,
I will tell you a story i know nothing about,
The admission is free so pay at the door,
Pull up a chair and sit on the floor.

One fine day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight,
Back to back they faced each other,
Drew their swords and shot each other.

A blind man came to watch fair play,
A mute man came to shout "Hurray!"
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
And came to stop those two dead boys.

He lived on the corner in the middle of the block,
In a two-story house on a vacant lot;
A man with no legs came walking by,
And kicked the lawman in his theigh.

He crashed through a wall without a sound,
Into a dry river bed and suddenly drowned;
A long black hearse came to cart him away,
But he ran for his life and is still gone today.

I watched from the corner of a big round table,
I the only eyewitness to the facts of my fable;
But if you doubt my lies are true,
Just ask the blind man, for he saw it too.