you have to open the drain

Oh my.

Oh my, indeed. This could call for some delicate handling.

Er - a little manic? Early dementia? Oh dear.....been there, done that, threw away and burned the T shirt...still having to dye the grey hairs.

Care for a small cyber hug?

Aw, sorry Dys. My great aunt used to buy stuff too, but she'd buy little things like ginsu knives and such. My dad, his father, and his brother just funded her bank acct.

A portfolio generating enough income to require $10,000.00 for quarterly taxes shouldn't require either funding or family loans, though.

Roger, i actually have no idea if there actually is a tax liability. Everything he does is a secret and i have no access to any of his records. It may be time to pursue the courts for competency.

Tough road, Dys, good luck.

Oh dear. Maybe you can ask him to have his accountant contact your accountant? No. I didn't think that would work.

Good luck.

C'mon back to vent.

Perhaps hamburger will have some insight here. He's helped some older friends get things in order. Actually, in that line, does your dad have any remaining pals that he trusts?

Dys - has he a good doctor? You never know - he just might have something treatable?????

dad has no friends left, mostly dead and the others cant cope with him anymore, his attorney for the past 20 years fired him as a client this summer. mom was diagnosed with alzheimers 2 1/2 years ago. my current plan is to await a crisis and then take legal intervention. not a good plan but all i can think of.

dlowan, he has forbidden his doctor to speak to me (confidentiality)

sigh.....

wowsa

Can you 'force' a crisis, without endangering anyone?

hmm, I guess it's hard to tell if he's being secretive, what the impact of any of your actions might be.

AGING & ELDER CARE
hi, dys : a good old friend of ours started to have problems a few years ago - eventually diagnosed as alzheimer's. but luckily she was always in a good mood and could laugh at herself. even when she was in a home for alsheimer's patients the last two years she didn't loose her humour. when we would go to visit with her she was happiest to sing some old german folksongs to us. the problem you are facing with your dad is of course a much different and more difficult one. is it possible that your dad wants to exercise his power over you and others ? i think there are plenty of people around - and not just old ones ! - that really get a kick out of exercising power over others and make them squirm. if he would not be your dad you probably would give him a piece of your mind, and tell him to smarten up or else ... or are you known as a SOFTIE who also is an OBEDIENT son ? can't really give you much advice, but would suggest you ask YOURSELF some questions before you get dragged down by something like this. sorry i could't be more positive and helpful. do you have a seniors' association or something similar where you might get advice ? how about the AARP - they have local chapters in many places - you can even contact them over the internet. SORRY ! hbg

hi again : perhaps give this a try; it should give you some other leads also. hbg Grief and Loss
AARP: The power to make it better. (tm). ... mourning. Read more >>. AARP Grief
Support Line Would you like to talk to someone who cares? Call ...
Description: Offering articles, discussions, resources and tools for coping with grief and the loss of a loved one.
Category: Health > Mental Health > Grief, Loss and Bereavement
www.aarp.org/griefandloss/

I can't offer real advice. I think I would make the transfer of large amounts of my own money to help him contingent on his letting me see the paperwork or something. Easy for me to say. At least have a bit of sympathy.

Tough decision either way; to help or not to help loved ones that get themselves into financial committments they posssibly can't handle. Gotta think about this one, before I can offer my .02c worth. c.i.

I have been through seeking conservatorship. Let me express my great sympathy to you, and really to him too since he is probably all bundled up in dread, worry, fear; I'd be speaking to an attorney now to find out the options, what you need to have in hand to act, whether or not you act on them.