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Fri 28 Sep, 2007 06:42 pm
I didn't think of posting this question earlier but the dinner party is tomorrow night. This is of a girl I met and became friends with a year and a half ago. I've never been to an engagement party before. So, considering that there will be a shower and a wedding, do I bring a gift to the dinner?
Do you bring a gift to an engagement party?
Only to mine. Cause we're dirt poor farmers and cant afford good stuff.
I don't want to be the only one to bring a gift, but I don't want to be the only loser who doesn't. I was thinking of bringing a hostess gift for the bride's parents who are throwing the dinner party at their home.
Apparently some people do briing gifts..
http://www.gifts.com/Engagement-Gift.html
I quickly looked up on Emilypost.com and Mrs. Manners and found nothing about it.
I'm ignorant on this, haven't even heard of a formal engagement party.
I also would bring a gift only for the hostess and none for the couple
to be engaged. I thought these engagement parties are a thing of the past.
What bothers me most is that you even care about what others think. Your friend did not invite you to the dinner because you would bring a gift. They invited you because they wanted to share a special occasion.
I vote no gift. Lets see what kind of a friend you have.
dadpad wrote:What bothers me most is that you even care about what others think. Your friend did not invite you to the dinner because you would bring a gift. They invited you because they wanted to share a special occasion.
I vote no gift. Lets see what kind of a friend you have.
I agree, just want to know what the proper etiquette on this is. They did invite me because they want to share this occasion with me and other close friends. In the year and a half that I've know the bride-to-be we've become close.
I brought a gift to every engagement party I ever attended, as did the other guests.
There may be regional differences. Dunno.
I might bring champagne and caviar, and have some of the caviar. Or not bring champagne and caviar.
I don't think it matters.
Do people actually open gifts at engagement parties? (Hands over eyes...)
ossobuco wrote:
Do people actually open gifts at engagement parties? (Hands over eyes...)
Don't remember.
Considered the engagement party a major rip-off. Three gifts for one marriage.
I can also see giving something like a photo of your buddies together - an existing one or future one. Much as I mentioned champagne and caviar, I have a certain quailing that this could be considered a gift giving occasion. It's just an announcement with celebration. That it could get into full regailia bridal time orchestration is weird to me. Waves hand.
Are these society folk? I don't know their ways personally, except that one of the most beautiful/elaborate weddings I'd ever been at... gads, what a dress... big society deal, dissolved nearly immediately to divorce.
I'm not opposed to nice weddings, but am chary about the whole wedding extravaganza thing. I see it as a business, both for the wedding presentation people, and the families with their business associates all invited...
Sniffs mildly hostily.
I don't recall ever having been to an engagement party, but I found this:
Quote:Q: Should guests bring gifts to an engagement party?
A: Most guests should not bring a gift to an engagement party, however many do. Engagement gifts are generally supposed to be limited to only the closest friends and family of the bride and groom. However, the bride and groom should never expect a gift from any of their guests.
http://www.bwedd.com/CEBride/CEBNewsletter_63.asp
Quote:The bride's parents often host this party (surprise of not) and gifts are NOT given at an engagement party. This doesn't mean gifts aren't given - they just aren't given at the party; here's why - tradition has it that engagement gifts usually go to the bride only and are usually only given by family members and very, very close personal friends - these gifts are often mailed to the house or brought along on a personal one-on-one visit. With this gift-giving protocol in mind, if the very, very close friends and family came to an engagement party with gifts in hand it could or would make the other guests uneasy - ergo - NO GIFTS at an engagement party. Do YOU give a gift - figure that even a number of probable bridesmaids wouldn't be expected to give a gift - then - your relationship with the bride-to-be really needs to be very personal and very intimate - otherwise - forget it.
http://www.bellaonline.com/articles/art6180.asp
The Wedding Channel is more equivocal though:
Quote:The Gift Issue. Gifts are not mandatory at engagement parties, but there is a lot of confusion surrounding engagement gift-giving. To clear things up, you might want to put "no gifts" on the invitation if the couple is uncomfortable about receiving engagement gifts, showers gifts and wedding gifts from the same group of people. But if the couple is game for gifts, remind them to register here at WeddingChannel.com, so party-goers can get them something wonderful. If you don't address the gift issue on the invitation, be prepared to guide RSVPers who call you to the couple's registry.
Maybe you can ask the parents, to be sure? (They're hosting, right?)
Roberta wrote:I brought a gift to every engagement party I ever attended, as did the other guests.
There may be regional differences. Dunno.
I think regional differences/cultural differences really come into play.
The last few weddings I've been invited to had associated engagement parties - gifts were expected (but not opened).
I prefer the tradition of the engagement tea (no gift, here), but no one asks the guests before they are invited.
I've always heard that the "Engagement Party" is to announce the engagement. Guests--not knowing of the engagement beforehand--would not be expected to bring gifts.
I'd opt for a hostess gift--or flowers for the hostess the day after the party.
Hi peeps.
25 years ago when I was engaged to Mr. Plantress, his British mother threw us a wonderful engagement party. The purpose of the party was to introduce me, or us as a couple, to all of their family friends and cousins whom I had not yet met. It was a very festive occasion though there were very few young people there.
A present was not required. The presents were given at showers and, of course, before the wedding itself.
martybarker, do you mind if I piggyback? I was thinking of starting a new thread but the question I have is in the same general category.
I'm going to be doing a Webkinz-themed birthday party for my daughter. The obvious gift, from partygoers, is a Webkinz. She has five of the things (stuffed animals that come with a code to access an online game), that's enough -- I don't want her to get another dozen of them. I can't think of how to handle this though. I don't want to say "no gifts" or direct the guests to get a certain category of gift; I just don't want them to give her that specific gift.
I'm able to chat with most of the invitees' parents at school or other events, and am thinking of trying to guide the conversation to whether their kids have any Webkinz, and something like "Sozlet would have 20 of them if I let her, but really, five is enough!" Ugh, so awkward. I could maybe pull it off once in a while if it comes up naturally but...
Any suggestions?
Ugh, so awkward.
I'm afraid that once you picked the theme, you were doomed. The Sozlet's friends are old enough to have a voice in gift selection and I doubt that that peer group can be convinced that a mere five webkinz are enough.
Do what you can--and clear a shelf for the loot.
When my daughter was 5 parents must have told their kids to ask her what she wanted because she received 10 barbies.
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