Why did it take until he was 11 to diagnose him? One would think if he's so far off the spectrum that it would have been obvious at a much younger age that something was up.
Yh - you would think wouldn't you.
No matter how many times my ex and I asked EVERYONE for help - we were told - pushy parents, he's growing up, don't worry - he'll be fine etc etc blah blah.
I worked at the school (only 40 kidlets) that my son went to. He was very protected there. He was angelic at school - never got in trouble, was well liked - and all that - I would have so much trouble getting him to go to school - did anyone believe me - NO! As I work in education I called in the Ed Psychologist - I was overruled by the Headteacher - my child was a model pupil. Didnt matter what happened when he walked through the door after school and any tiny little thing that had happened at school - someone looked at him in the wrong way - which could cause a meltdown - well, that had to be down to the parents. Always down to the parents. No-one listened.
2 weeks before he started secondary school he started self harming (cutting). Finally someone started listening. My son started having counselling. It took 5 months and a threat of him committing suicide rather than attend a technology lesson at school - and hitting a police officer so he could be locked up in a cell so he didnt have to see the bullies at school - before someone finally listened to us. TOO LATE. Damage done. System let us down. System let him down.
Long story cut short - 4 years down the line - he is now in care having attempted suicide - who knows whether he will make it to tomorrow - maybe he will live til hes 90.
NO-ONE LISTENED. No-one saw his pain except for us. His masking strategies are absolutely incredible. His thought processing is ... off the wall. Sometimes it can take weeks for him to process something that someone has said - sometimes we never new what would set off the meltdowns. But when they happened - his pain, his fear, his anxieties, his very extreme nature meant he would self destruct - pick up a knife and hurt himself. He was admitted to a psych unit - dx Aspergers. He's had 4 psychs who say they have never encountered such a complex child. The 5th psych who he now sees says she questions the dx.
The whole system in my country lets these children down. I have fought so long and hard. Got him into a special school - was told that was the way to go - (Aspergers School) He tried to hand himself 10 months after he started. He was then placed in care for his own protection - thats what THEY told us to do - the professionals. Tomorrow he moves into another placement - he is 15 - hasn't been in education for 4 years - is having his own house with a "scaffolding" team of support therapists around him - in other words - taken out of society as he is so emotionally damaged - BECAUSE NO ONE LISTENED TO US - and every day I wonder if the next phone call will be the one that says he has finally given up.
He is a wonderful child - very high functioning. So clever. We love him so much. I can't take care of his special needs - his 24/7 care - and I am told to accept what I cant change - if he does commit suicide - and yes, he isn't the norm in Aspergers - tho there is no norm - then at least I am told I did everything right by him to protect him.
He should have been helped when we asked at the age of 6 years old. We should have been listened to. He should not have had to go through this. Neither should we.
Everyone has let him down. I don't want anyone else to ever have to watch their child go through what mine does on a daily basis.
Why did it take so long to diagnose? I ask myself the same question every day. I guess - doctors, professionals, social workers, education - all thought they knew my child better than me. Why did it take for him to harm himself before someone listened to what was happening in our home.
Our home is no longer a home. Marriage broken, son in care - just me and my little boy in our broken home. WHY? Very good question.