Re: I'm uncomfortable receiving recognition
georgeob1 wrote:Learn to accept compliments - and criticisms - when they are offered from a reliable source.
Two things here. One: how? That's the whole thing, I don't know how to act. Every thing I think of to say I talk myself out of except for a meager "thanks" or deflective humor. And two: what should I do in the case where it is not a reliable source of compliments (I know what to do with criticism in that scenario).
You make it sound so simple.
Re: I'm uncomfortable receiving recognition
georgeob1 wrote:Learn to accept compliments - and criticisms - when they are offered from a reliable source. To do otherwise is, in a sense, an affront to the source. It is very likely that at various times you have deserved both. Moreover, I believe that the acceptance of both compliments and criticism are related -- the (understandable) human impulses that lead you to reject one will also act on the other. That's not good.
Accepting criticism is, for me at least, comparatively easy. I can always see more things to criticize in what I'm doing than anyone else can even get close to. I'm usually just pleased that they didn't spot all the gaps I did (and then I go ahead and tell them ...)
My experiences suggest that the illusions, preoccupations & fixed elements of one's self image that can make praise hard to acknowledge and accept, also tend to interfere with one's ability to deal seriously with potentially beneficial criticism.
To deal with either, one must, at least for a moment, attempt to look at himself objectively, as someone capable of both good and bad actions or efforts, and someone posessed of both strengths & weaknesses. That is not easy for any of us, but one can gradually develop the habit of doing so by simply acknowledging to himself things that are done well or poorly, and one's characteristic strengths and weaknesses.
The simple act of verbalizing thanks for meaningful praise offered, and similarly verbally acknowledging meaningful criticism can go a long way to developing this beneficial habit of thought and self-analysis.
Often fulsome praise becomes uncomfortably personal.
I can accept a bit of praise for a job-well-done but when that bit of praise inflates to describe me as Wonder Woman I feel that the praiser is a good bit of an insensitive jackass who has dragged my personal business out in public.
Like I said to m'supervisor: Thanks, that's very nice, but don't tell me, tell my boss (I work for an agency but my supervisor is with the client). Got a $250 bonus and a nice lil company award. The money came in handy and the award went on my resume. All that for a few minutes of weirdness (accepted the award in front of my peers, at least I wasn't the only one getting one).
It's one way to handle it: don't tell me, tell someone who can give me something that I need -- whether it's money, a promotion, days off, better projects or whatever.
Or you could just get recognized for weird little tasks, which also happens to me. Kudos and bravo for setting the print area! Heh I take that in stride at this point.
Hi my name is Emily. I hate receiving recognition of any kind because it makes me feel bad about myself and angry. I will begrudgingly say "Thank you" and fake enjoying it. It wasn't always that way though. When I was younger, when I received praise I was over the moon. Now if I receive recognition I feel as though I am being set up for future failure of not living up to the heightened expectations.
